Pillow talk is the conversation that happens between couples in bed before sleep, perhaps while cuddling, and even before or after sexual intimacy. This is when the couple can be really honest with each other, share their feelings, and bond in a very strong way. Especially when done consistently over time, it is very effective in creating a positive environment for your relationship and health to thrive.
In fact, pillow talk has been proven in a study among Oregon couples to help their relationships and health; the findings are being presented at the 2017 Society for Personality and Social Psychology Annual Convention.
The great thing about engaging in nightly pillow talk, according to the study, is that these don’t have to be hour-long conversations before bed. Just a few tidbits of information are all that is needed. But the key is this—it must be positive news.
Something good that happened to you today,
Something funny the kids did recently,
Something nice someone did for you,
A win at work,
Something that reminded you of your spouse,
Something that made you happy,
A funny YouTube video, and so on.
Obviously, these aren’t huge, life-changing conversations by themselves. But when shared before bed as nightly pillow talk, they can change your perspective little by little, having a huge impact over time. Here are the many benefits of pillow talk:
End the day on a positive note
Aren’t our days hard enough? We are faced with a lot of negativity from other people, things happening in the world, things posted on social media, work conflicts, traffic… the list goes on. It can be so easy to carry that over from day to day. But, when you end the day by having a positive interaction with your spouse or significant other, it helps put those things in perspective. Pillow talk is the perfect opportunity to be positive, and then you’ll be looking forward to it! Instead of reviewing your day and seeing the negative, you are both focusing on the good in life and then ending the day on a positive note. Keep that habit up and you’ll see a trend for a positive life.
Appreciate each other
You and your spouse have so many demands on your time; if you aren’t able to connect at the end of the day with a little pillow talk, then you may feel an over-arching disconnect in the marriage. One big benefit of pillow talk is the connection you will feel. It may only be a few minutes of conversation, but it can mean a world of difference in your marriage. You both get a chance to share your feelings, show the other person you care, feel heard, and then feel grateful for a loving spouse.
Good night’s sleep
So many of us have trouble sleeping. Why? Our brains don’t seem to be able to “shut off” completely. When you lay down at night, if your mind won’t stop whirling, then one way to help calm it is pillow talk. Get out your thoughts and feelings that are whirling around with someone you love and trust—your spouse or significant other. You both have a great opportunity to help each other unwind. Getting things out in the open will help your mind rest, which will then help your body to rest and sleep better.
Reduce anxiety, other illnesses
The effects of pillow talk are immense. Just think—if you could get better sleep, end the day on a positive note, and feel more connected with the one you love—how would you feel? Emotionally you’d feel amazing, and physically you’d also feel amazing. That could possibly mean less anxiety, less illnesses; you’d have overall better mental and physical health. Who wouldn’t want that?
More fulfilling intimate relationship
Distractions are a part of our modern lives—TV, social media, smartphones, and all kinds of gadgets. They plague our days, but when it comes to night time with our spouse, it’s time to turn them off. The less distractions in the bedroom, the better. This allows for more pillow talk, which leads to a stronger connection and loving relationship. What does that lead to? Well, try it and find out. The physical side of your relationship—specifically your intimate relationship—will grow as you continue to engage in more pillow talk. You’ll feel more heard in everyday life with your spouse, who will then lead to feeling more trusting and fulfilled in what goes on behind closed doors.