Wednesday, 24 January 2018
Marriage is Not Promise Land

Marriage is Not Promise Land

By Counsellor Adofoli 

Falling in love feels so good that everyone who fell in love for the first time assumes that if just a relationship can feel like this, then marriage will be a paradise, making some people dream and fantasise about marriage as a promise land, a city of everlasting happiness, a union full of smiles, a relationship filled with heartbeats.

But in reality, that is not the truth. It’s just like a child who thinks growing up will solve all his problems, only for him to become an adult and realise that childhood is full of dreams which never come to pass.

One important lesson I have learnt in life is, once you know the journey you are pursuing is hard, you prepare for the hardest. That is why we have second chance and resits. We are not born losers and we hate to lose. If it requires doing the same thing a hundred times to achieve the result you need, you never give up.

But when it comes to marriage, the story is different. Since we see it as a paradise, we go in to enjoy, receive, and be happy. It starts from the wedding or marriage ceremony. No wonder people spend so much on their weddings, thinking the size of the wedding will equal the size of happiness in the marriage.

Honeymoon has become like an entrance exams, a do-or-die game for new couples and full of ecstasy, forgetting that the hotel or city they find themselves in isn’t their home. But realty always sets in when the couple get settled in to live their normal lives. Surprises start popping up, expectations are not met, and because they had not prepared for the worst, it’s easy to leave after a few attempts.

As far as marriage is on earth, there is nothing like paradise. Getting married means you go through the issues of life, good or bad; and life gets tougher because of the presence of another person in your life.

You all have two eyes but not the same view. How you see things is different from your spouse. There are fights in perfect marriages, hurt in a perfect marriage, there is disappointment, disease, distance, debt, even death, but besides all these, those perfect marriages have not ended in divorce.

You are not in your spouse’s life by mistake, there is a purpose. Your presence has the power to help someone do away with some bad habit or behaviour; your presence could help them be saved. Some spouses won't be enjoying some blessings or favour if they were not married to their present partners. If you understand the purpose of your marriage, divorce won't be an option.

Everyone needs a helper, someone who never gives up on us no matter the journey. No wonder God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him” - Genesis 2:18 (NLT).

In fact the most beautiful marriage is between the most difficult spouses. Never giving up on the other; fighting to hold on than to leave. For strong couples don't play the victim, they don't make themselves look pitiful and don't point fingers. They rather stand and deal with issues that confront their union.

If your heart is strong, all the difficult things you encounter in your marriage will become easy. But if your heart is weak, all the easy things in your marriage will become difficult for you.

In conclusion, sometimes we think the beginning of a marriage is the most beautiful so couples don't even get to the end, but sunsets are proof that endings can often be beautiful too.

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Read 751 times Last modified on Friday, 10 March 2017 13:46