Friday, 23 February 2018

Social media and marriage

I recall a male friend telling me one day that social media is now comparable to the soap operas. It engages his wife’s attention so much that sometimes he feels his wife prefers being on social media to having him around.

A wife also expressed concern at one time, saying, “Sometimes I will be sitting at the hall with my husband but he will be so glued to his phone and laughing so loudly that I am always thinking of how to hack into his account”.
What probably makes the use of social media more worrying is that someone, could be wife or husband, could be connected to the internet while arguing or making love, and what is supposed to be a private issue now becomes topical for all.
So how can we manage social media in our marriages? Knowing that social media has come to stay, it has now become part of the world and part of us.
We need to have a plan for using social media, some people just churn out anything, just anything on social media, including a lot of lies.
They are compelled to tell a lie about what is nonexistent in their lives for whatever reasons best known to them, there are others who are very active on social media but only come there as spies and so will not even put a dot on their page.
What do you want to use social media for? Know the positives and negatives of using social media and make an informed decision.
Social media is a good tool if you ask me; it puts you in touch with millions of people who you otherwise may never have had the time to see in person even if you have the opportunity, but it can never replace the physical presence of a person.
So for married couples, use social media to enhance your relations and not to distance yourselves; if your spouse is around, talk to him in person, don’t message your spouse when he/she is near.
Rather close the gap between you (couples) with social media by staying in touch while you are apart.
Be careful what information you send via social media. I don’t know if it is the excitement to record oneself and send it across that world that is a craze or something, but why will couples decide to use their phones to record lovemaking, sorry to say it but it doesn’t make sense to me.
I think there can be a better use for technology than recording lovemaking and private issues.
Sometimes couples are tempted to compare their marriage with the ones they see on social media, but mind you, some of those pictures you see are just for the world to see; inside their closet, what you see may be rottenness.
Try to share your social media world with your spouse to have you on the same page, watch videos together, listen to interesting audios and read aloud nice written pieces that can enhance not just your marriage but your life.
If you want my opinion, I will say that social media is good, in fact very good, but it is not comparable to having a human being right in front of you to talk with.
Scott Williams writes for the family life magazines and says the value of your relationship depends on the amount each of you invests in it.
If you aren’t intentional about growing toward oneness, you’re automatically drifting toward isolation.
Don’t become a social media marriage casualty. Be intentional about strengthening your marriage and about avoiding the things that could potentially destroy it.
Do not allow your relationship to become a victim of ‘the social media monster’. Communicate and share what’s on your mind, and even more importantly listen to your partner. The future of your relationship depends on it.

Hannah Awadzi (Mrs)
Senior Journalist (Communications Specialist)
Ghana News Agency (GNA)
Executive Director: Special Mothers Project
(Advocacy on cerebral palsy issues)