Sunday, 19 November 2017

In the Interest of the Church

Continued from the previous week
Junior Prophet
Ami! Just Ami! Is that one to a name! What a sick name to give to a despicable creature! How can you give birth to a child and name her Ami! Some fathers too I don’t understand them. How can you be giving such horrible names to your children like that!

What kind of ugly name is Ami! Kai! Why not Confidence, or Benevolent, or Favour, or Abundant, or Living Water, or even Nature; since that is how her people pick names for their children1 Adjectives and verbs! You should see her anytime Osofo Maame mentions calls out for her! She just loves her name. She thinks it is a nice name. Mmoadze! Me, I will never call her Ami. The name doesn’t even sound well on my lips. It makes me nauseous! To me she will always be the dirty, wretched maid who is only good for prayers with Prophet! If I address her like everyone else does, she would not respect me. I won’t call her Ami. Never! The conniving witch! She must suffer some more. Refusing to eat her food is just a tip of the ice-berg. Nothing upsets a woman like refusing food she laboured to prepare. Look at her too; all of a sudden she wants to feed me. Before this whole saga, I literally had to beg her every time for food. She only had time for Prophet, his ugly wife and his sick daughter. To her I was just a normal armour bearer who wants to pray with her! Now that she knows she needs me to keep her charade of a pregnancy intact, she wants to deceive me with food. You think I am Esau eh? To hell with your food. I cannot even trust her let alone food she prepared. Sister Prudence cooks better, and serves me with much more love and respect than this witch Ami. I would change my name to idiot if I condescend to touch her food. That one is just the beginning. The hell I will unleash on her sorry self, she has no idea.
She thinks I am still the same old armour bearer she knew. That is why she has the nerve to demand that I take her to the hospital for antenatal. The cheek of it. Antenatal! Mmoadze! She wants me to spend my time at the hospital by a pregnancy which is not mine. Herh! This girl has some nerve, really. She did not even have the decency to at least ask politely, and treat me as the baby daddy she has already paraded me to be! She doesn’t respect. This is familiarity. If not for Osofo Maame I would have left her to die. That one too! She has no idea what is happening. The biggest fool in this maze. How can you insist I take the damn fool to the hospital when we could be together having hot prayers! I didn’t know she would be this empathetic towards the maid! She might be family alright, but the Osofo Maame I know, she is the definition of selfish. Maybe she is changing. Or is it because of how I made her starve the last time! She literally ordered me to take the maid to see her doctor! She is just a naïve fool. If only she knew who the real father of the child is!
I must find a way to tell her. Let me see how Prophet and his mistress would survive the wrath of madam kenkey-body! It would be a sight to behold! Or maybe I should leak an anonymous message about Prophet’s affair to her? Ha! But no, that will ruin the plan. Telling her would cause too much mess that cannot be fixed. It would not be in the best interest of the church. Careful is the word. Careful is key. Leaking that picture to the media nearly backfired in my face. Herh! These journalists, some of them are deadlier than the devil himself! To think they took money from Prophet to name the source of the leakage! If I hadn’t offered them more money, I would have been in deep trouble. Prophet trusts me now more than ever, and my recent promotion is an attestation to that fact. I can’t afford to let him think I cannot be trusted. For now I have to keep up the act. Thank God for the wisdom to be proactive. Prophet now thinks Elder Big Mouth leaked the info to the media. Hah! I want to see his face right now. The idiot. Dead men don’t talk, and even if they do, no one has time for them. That is why they are dead. Yes. That’s a better punishment for the old man and what he did to my secretary! I know Prophet might withdraw the scholarship he announced for Elder Big Mouth’s daughter. Too bad, but who cares! That’s the best punishment for the fool. His descendants would continue to feel the impact of his deeds long after he died! Next time come and give birth in your old age. Nonsense. Now we can wait for the story to die down then I can strike again.
Prophet
Did I ever hurt him? Did I ever withhold anything from him? This world is unfair. Seems like it’s the season for stabs in the back. But wait, what would cause a man as old as Elder Azarya to leak these things to the media? I don’t get it. I have always stood by him; defended him even when he was wrong. He is one of the few whose calls I would rush to answer even while praying! I give him a stipend every week, pay fees for his children! When he approached me concerning his wife’s business, I gave him the money outright! So what would cause him to do this to me? My God! This is unbelievable. See how dignified his funeral was. At a point people thought he was a politician or a chief. They could not believe the wretched Elder could have such a befitting burial. That is why I don’t get why he would betray me like that. I thought he said I was his father? Or did someone in the media offer him some money to speak up? No, that cannot be possible. The journalist even charged me a huge sum to disclose the culprit. I don’t think so. Or wait, did he pick a secret fight with me? I would not be surprised if that is his motivation. He has a good history of picking secret fights. Look at when he came complaining that he doesn’t like the way my wife dresses! Can you imagine! As if she dresses for you! Nonsense.
But why? The question is why! Did I not pay off that chorister when she accused him of sexual harassment? Did I not beg his wife to come back to him when she wanted to leave the marriage earlier this year? Should that not be good grounds for him to at least protect my interest and that of the church’s’? How can such an elderly man do this abominable act! No wonder he did not survive it. When God says you should not touch His anointed, he was not joking! You see what has happened to you now? You have cut your life short just because you dared expose your father! Serves him right. Now I must ensure this does not repeat itself anymore. Such leakage would not order well for the church. A sermon would do the trick. Yes. If I tell them the Lord has revealed that death awaits anyone who denigrates His church, they would believe. These people, I know them very well. They would be filled with fear. That is exactly what I want. Once they know there is death attached to such gossip they would desist from it. Even diamonds they would reject because they are possessed. I pray they learn their lesson and desist from such acts. I can also set spies among them to get me information. Since secretary’s death, I hardly get wind of issues. Of secretary. Such a fine young woman. God please rest her soul. I must recruit some more. Once I get the spies working, I would be able to anticipate any of such treacherous acts. If even an elderly man like Elder Azarya can do this, imagine the youth. Theirs would be deadly.
Now I want to pray. I must pray as soon as possible. Ami too is not in a good condition for prayer. Or should I call Osofo Maame? My God! I cannot even look at her. I have to try. She is my wife, my lawfully wedded wife and I must at least try. Those new girls in the choir look very nice, but I don’t know their motives yet. I must get Armour Bearer to prep them for me. Till then it has to be Osofo Maame. Father, please grant me Grace. I cannot do this on my own.
To be continued...
The writer is a playwright and a Communications Practitioner. Contact: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.